Tim Yermolaiev.
One day boy had a visit from his friends who came to a boy’s home and invited him to go to the beach with them. Boy’s mother said to her son: “Go, but beware of a black stone, do not swim near.”
When they arrived to the beach the only free place was near the black stone. At first, boy did not want to swim there but his friends started to make fun of him and he changed his mind.
So they got into water and started to swim. Suddenly one of the friends said: “Oh! Something bit my left leg,” said that and got a little pale.
Minute later: “Oh! Something bit my right leg,” and paled even more.
Then: “Оh, Something bit my left hand,” now he was as white as snow.
“Оh, I was bitten to my right hand,” said friend and drowned.
Same happened to the second friend, he paled and then he drowned. And at this moment boy noticed a scary shark swimming around, shark which bit off hands and legs of his friends and then ate them whole. Boy got very scared and hurried to the shore. Whole time a shark was swimming in circles around him. By the time boy reached a shore his hair all turned gray.
On a one summer day a girl wanted to eat an ice-cream.
Her mother gave her money but strictly warned her not to buy black ice-cream. However in shop there was only black ice-cream. So girl bought it and started to lick.
When she finished eating ice-cream, all of her teeth fell out of her mouth. When she came back home, she said nothing to her mother as she was afraid mother will scold her. Instead she wrote a letter to a newspaper and together with a police went to a factory which produced black ice-cream and they saw that all workers there were toothless.
And out of nowhere there was a black piano on the street. Nobody knew where it came from. Various children came and touched keys just to listen how it sounds. One little girl also wanted to push keys but her mother did not allow her. However her grandmother did not know about it and on Monday, when mother went to work and girl went for a walk with grandmother and played one key. Piano made an ominous sound. After coming back home girl noticed that her index finger turned black. Girl got scared but kept it secret. On Tuesday when she was walking again with her grandmother she approached the piano and played different key. By the time she came back home, her second finger turned black. Every following days she played on the street piano. And on Friday whole hand turned black and she died.
Later the piano was put on a lock and nobody died anymore.
Once upon a time there lived a girl who adored cats very much. One day during a walk she saw a little black stray kitten. It looked up at a girl and said: “Kind girl, I am starving, please feed me.”
Girl had no food with her but it seemed that just a little bit more and a kitten would die, and then girl cut her left hand and fed a kitten.
Next day she saw that same kitten again.
“Girl, if you do not feed me right now, I will die immediately.”
Girl cut off her right hand and kitten ate it.
Then she had to cut her leg to feed a dying kitten, and next day — second leg. On a fifth day on a walk she met that kitten again.
“Kind girl, feed me or I will die…”
“But I have nothing left!”
“Give me your heart!” kitten screamed.
Girl gave her heart to a kitten, and it ate it. And so girl died.
Little boy needed a notebook for school. Mother gave him money but told him not to buy notebook with black cover. A boy went to shop but it turned out that the only notebooks which shop was selling were notebooks with black cover. So boy bought black notebook and went home. He started writing homework but noticed that all of the words written by him are turning to a horrible course words. He learned every one of them and became a hooligan. And when he grew up he got to jail.
One girl went to pick flowers. Her mother warned her not to pick daisies with disc florets of black color. But when girl came to the field, only black daisies grew there. So she picked some and went home. But on the way home she felt dizzy. Girl decided to throw away daisies, but could not do so, it looked as if they sticked to her palm.
Daisies were clinging to her hand through a tiny hooks and drank her blood. Girl cut off her hand and this way she saved her life.
In one town there lived a black old hag and she was mad.
Every day she took coins and whispered over them: “You find — you die”, and then threw coins outside through the window. Then a granddaughter came to visit an old hag and brought food for her grandmother. Girl said: “Look, granny, I found coins near your house!”
And later girl died. Black hag also died, since there was nobody to come and feed her.
Mother and father was going to visit their friends but before that they told their little son not to watch 13th channel. The very moment door closed behind them, boy ran to the TV and turned on 13th channel. He saw strange images there, but still could not take his eyes of the screen. He stayed up infront of TV whole night and in the morning he skipped school and all the time were sitting infront of the TV.
Several days passed, his parents got worried and started calling him by name but there was no reaction. They wanted to drag him out of TV but he did not move. Then father come up with idea to cut down the electric wire. But boy was already dead.
When doctors opened his head they saw that boys brain turned into kissel.
One boy found a black phone on the street. When his parents heard about it they said that picking it would bring a bad luck. However their family has been poor and boy wanted to have his own phone, so he kept it. When he tried to call to his friend, he heard strange sounds. That were voices of demons from the depths of the Hell. Those sound made boy’s ear turn black and fall off and he was deaf for the rest of his life.
One boy really loved to read jokes. He read it days and nights, in magazines, papers and on internet. Once he went to a market and there, from a mysterious trader, he bought a thick collection of jokes. In this book, jokes were so funny, the boy could not take himself off the reading. And when he finally finished and looked around he found out that he is already old and all of his friends and family have died long ago.
In the black black city there was a black black street. On a black black street there was a black black house. In a black black house there was a black black entrance. Inside black black entrance there was a black black apartment. In a black black apartment there was a black black room. In the black black room there was a black black wardrobe. Inside black black wardrobe there was a black black book. In the black black book on black black pages it was written in black ink: “In the black black city there was a black black street. …”
Once in one country there lived bad people. One day they gathered at a secret meeting and decided that they need to kill all good people in order to prevent good people from saying that bad people were bad. So they did it — on one dark night they killed all good people who lived in that country. Bad people celebrated it but not for a long. After some time the most bad people out of bad people decided to kill those who were not bad enough. After that the most bad people from all most bad people killed those who were good from those who left. And so on continued until only two of the most horrible survived, the most evil, most merciless. They killed each other and country stayed empty.
There has been a ferris wheel in one city. People were saying that this was the biggest wheel in a country. One boy wanted to ride it to check his courage. Mother gave him money for ticket, but warned him not to ride in a black cabin. When boy arrived he noticed that there has been so many people who also wanted to ride and all cabins were taken except the black one. Boy was courageous, as he decided about himself, bought a ticket and entered a black cabin. The wheel slowly started to spin and cabin started to rise up, and the boy did not feel himself scared at all.
However when cabin was on the very top, everything stopped.
Boy saw in the air a strange glowing creature. It was made all of constantly moving tentacles which looked like vermicelli.
Creature reached its tentacles toward a boy and he cowered from unbearable dread. When tentacles touched a boy, it drove him crazy. And then creature ate a boy whole, with bones. All of this happened in a parallel universe. Here, in our world, the wheel never stopped spinning, but when black cabin came down, it was empty.
One day a boy has been given a task during mathematics class to solve the following: 8÷2−2. Boy was bad at mathematics and first he decided to do a subtraction then wrote 8÷0 on board. When teacher saw this he declared with a strange voice: “Program completed unacceptable operation and will be closed.”
After that he fell down on the floor and bolts and nuts rolled out from him.
Boy guessed that instead of teacher they had robot, got scared and run home. When he reached home, he screamed: “Mooom! Our teacher is a robot and he broke down when I wrote ‘eight divide by zero’!
When boys mother heard this she said: “Program completed an unacceptable operation and will be closed.”
After that she fell down and some bolts and nuts rolled out of her.
Boy guessed that his mother was a robot as well, got scared even more and run away from home.
Since then he is hiding from robots. But if he knew mathematics well nothing like that would ever happen.
A young men by the name Vyacheslav once went out at night for a walk and saw a women dressed in a black tight low cut dress. Women was beautiful, but with a very pale skin. She was wearing a deep red colour lipstick.
Women offered a dance, but young men did not want to accept an invitation. Then she grabbed his hand and started to dance with him thought there was no music and street was so silent. Young men felt sick and understood that this women is a vampire. He got scared, pulled out a gun and fired five times straight to her heart. Vampire laughed but did not stop dancing. At this moment pensioner Tamara Semyonova were passing by, she used to be young men’s teacher when she was younger. She shook her head accusingly and said: “Well well, Vyacheslav, as if I did not teach you at school how to kill vampires? You have to pierce her heart with a stake!”
Pensioner threw him a piece of her old wooden pointer. Young men pierced right through vampires heart. Then black women stopped dancing, closed here eyes, then fell and turned into dust. Young men was so happy, turned to his teacher: “Tamara Semyonovna, I saved the world from vampires!”
Old teacher accusingly shook her head and did not answer anything.
One boy adored robots. But since his parents could not and did not want to buy him a robot, he decided to make one himself. First he made it from paper. But once he splashed his paper robot with tap water it softened and unstuck. Then boy made a robot from wooden constructor. But one hit with his leg and wooden robot shattered in pieces. Then boy made robot from plastic LEGO
constructor. Well, this robot also did not survive a leg hit.
Finally a boy decided to make robot from metal constructor.
Before assembling he prepared a drawing of a robot and took accumulator batter and little motor from electric toy car. He used them as well for assembling robot. When robot was ready, boy hit robot with his leg to check how strong new robot is. However robot evaded to the side and said with metallic voice: “Do not do it, human. You already destroyed three of my brothers. Now I will revenge their death.” He fire at boy with laser and was gone to where his feet will take him.
One student decided to go to a night disco party before mathematics exam. In his town there has been a night cafe with disco parties. The name of cafe was Peskados. Student arrived to this cafe and choose a table with people dancing around, but he did not feel fun at all, he was sad because of an upcoming exam. And suddenly, someone turned on a strange music with strange accords and with those lyrics: “Alternative, alternative!” Student looked around — people dancing around were now strange looking: with round glass eyes, big mouthes and unpleasant smell. They turned into humafishes! He listened for this strange music a bit more and felt like he wanted to stand up and dance too. Against his will he started to dance and his eyes also turned round and glass.
Then police car stopped near the cafe and officers screamed through megaphones ordering to turn music off. Nobody heard them. When police officers listened this music with lyrics “Alternative! Alternative!” a bit more, they also started to dance and turn into humafishes. But then in the neighbouring house a pensioner and ex commander of Soviet Army woke up, then took riffle and fired from his window straight at the music centre. Music stopped and people turned back to humans. Student went to the exam in the morning, failed it and was expelled from university.
One man had a bad habit of nose picking. He knew it is a bad habit, but could do nothing with it. Because of it he often had a nose bleeding. One night during full moon he woke up and casually started to do a nose picking.
Of course he had a nose bleed again! Suddenly he saw that his hand turned red. He got scared and died of fear. The hand crawled into a Red Stain on the wall and there will be many other stories about it.
In one town in one house there has been a Red Stain on the wall, and from this Stain ever night showed up a Red Hand and killed people. When police got to know about this they started shooting to the Red Stain from guns, but nothing happened, it stayed where it was. They started to shoot from riffles — useless. Machine gun — useless. They wanted to drop a nuclear bomb on the house, but one officer offered to use tank agains Red Stain. Tank arrived, a projectile has been loaded into the muzzle, fired at a Red Stain — wall exploded, house collapsed and Red Stain disappeared. Smart officer received a reward.
There lived a brother and a sister. Sister was ten years old and brother five. Once they were alone at home and decided to show magical tricks to each other. Girl took tall black hat from fathers cabinet and some black fabric.
Brother laid to sofa and sister put a hat on her head and covered brother with black fabric. “Now magic will happen!” she said with a loud voice.
From under the fabric her brother chuckled. He was not scared, it was fun.
“You will have moustache now” said a girl.
And suddenly brother noticed that really, he got a moustache which are now stuck to all directions. It was no longer funny, he stopped laughing.
“You will have a tail now!” continued sister.
Brother felt a tail growing from his body. He started crying and telling his sister that he is already afraid and that he wanted to stop. Sister thought that he is just playing along and in reality he is not afraid at all.
“You will have striped fur and fangs now!” she said.
And it happened. Brother cried out loud and said that he will tell everything to parents.
“Wait, a bit more” said sister annoyed. “Now you cannot talk anymore and will growl like a wild beast!”
At this moment she heard not a cry but a real loud growl.
Sister pulled a black fabric and saw tiger with glowing eyes.
Tiger jumped at girl ripped off her head and ran away.
One boy in summer went to pioneer camp. He met there many other kids and heard many interesting and scary stories, which you probably already know — about Red Hand, Black Curtains and Coffin on the Wheels. When he came back home and went to school on September 1st, he retold all those stories to his classmates. Some were scared, some giggled and one boy said in a loud voice that it is all weird and lies. When everyone was gone for their seats, hooligan Roma asked a boy to meet after school. A boy was afraid that Roma wanted to beat him, but still met with him.
Before saying anything Roma looked around and then said that all those stories are not lies, but true. The governments in all countries making fun of those stories to prevent panic, and if someone keep telling about it, something bad happens with that person. The most important thing hooligan Roma promised to tell a boy on a next day. However next day Rom did not show up at school. Teachers told that Roma’s family moved to different city. But classmates who lived near Roma’s house said that before disappearance of the hooligan there was a black car infront of Roma’s house with some men in black suits and black glasses. Nobody has ever seen Roma after that.
Once there lived a girl who really did not like her rosy cheeks. She wanted to have a pale face, because one third of children in her class were goths, one third — emo, and other third alternatively gifted. Her friend told her that she need to make cucumber masks for skin, practically rub her face with cucumber to make them pale.
Girl went to garden and started to search for suitable cucumber, but all of them were not what she wanted. One was too yellow, other one strangely twisted, next one too pimply and there was one that looked too suspicious. Finally she approached the end of garden bed and saw there a black cucumber, which old neighbour Sidorov were growing. Girl could not hold herself and started to eat it. Sidorov saw that and immediately run toward girl and started to beat her back with his crutch and scream at her to spit cucumber out, because cucumber is horribly cursed and not less horrible microbes are covering it. Beside that, black cucumber can open doors to underworld.
Girl, of course, did not like being beaten with crutch and run away. Old man Sidorov started to chase her. Girl saw a water tower, tried to climb it while still chewing cucumber. At the very end she choked, fell down, and, of course, died.
Curse of a black cucumber fulfilled. Well, girl’s face eventually turned pale.
One girl liked nuts very much so her mother always gave her a bag of nuts as a birthday present. For her 13th birthday girls mother, as always, brought her beloved daughter a new bag of nuts. Girl started to eat them happily after breakfast, after lunch and after dinner and sometimes instead of it all. After one week she found a black nut in a bag.
She did not eat it and put it back to a bag. One more week and she found this black nut again, and she put it back again.
One more week and a bag was finally empty with only this suspicious black nut on a bottom. But a girl wanted nuts so much that she ate this suspicious black nut. And after one week she heard suspicious rustle inside of herself.
“What is that?!” She asked.
“It is me, a worm” answered a voice from inside. “I used to live inside of a nut and now I am living inside of you.”
“And what are you doing there?” asked a girl.
“Gnawing a hole to the outside.” said the voice.
“Oh, please, Mr.Worm, do not do it or I will die.”
But no matter how she tried to convince it to stop, evil worm from a black nut gnawed his hole to the outside right through girls belly and then, a girl who liked nuts, died.
Once in one city by the sea on the beach someone opened a cafe, with a name similar to something like Peskados or Carnados. And, obviously, to please tourists of the city, in this cafe were playing music all night long so that those tourists could enjoy more their time jumping and shaking legs. And it seemed that for everyone it was a great thing except for one old harmless man living in a neighbourhood. That grandpa loved silence very much which was a reason he came to this town 40 years ago, to fall asleep and to wake up with a gentle sound of a waves. At first, he were asking DJ and cafe administrator to lower the volume of the music, even though it was past 2 o’clock at night.
However they laughed at him and ignored him. Old man was very offended and tried to write letters to police, then to city administration, even to European Court of Human Rights, but everything was useless. He endured and endured, then one wonderful night he took a shovel which he usually used to dig worms for fishing, went to cafe and killed everyone who was there at that moment: jumping tourists, bartender, waitresses, DJ wearing headphones, administrator and even a bum, who was checking the trash bins nearby. The only one left alive was owner of the cafe who were sitting at that time at his home and counting money. Old man then returned home and fell in a very deep and comfortable sleep for the first time in months.
In the morning he realised what he’d done and went to police to confess. However nobody believed him, because it was a silent and harmless old man. They thought that he is trying to become famous at someone else’s expense or he is just out of his mind what might be even worse. And cafe owner wanted to prolong beach rent for 15 years more, so he kept all corpses as hostages.
One girl had a very kind grandmother which loved her granddaughter endlessly and all the time bought her chocolates on stick. But apart from her love, she strictly prohibited her granddaughter to enter her room. And a girl, who also loved her grandmother and chocolate candies, were naughty and one day she went to her grandmothers’ room and saw a glass can on a shelf with something black inside.
“Granny, what is this black mysterious thing in a glass can on a shelf in your room?” asked girl.
Since grandmother was a very kind, she did not punish a girl for it, however she did not gave an answer either. But girl begged her grandmother with teary eyes to tell her what is inside the can, grandmothers heart melted and she confessed that it is a soil from a graveyard.
“Promise me to never open this can, my beloved granddaughter!” she warned.
But since girl were naughty, one day she finally opened that can. The very moment soil spilled on the floor, kind grandmother turned into a yellow rotten skeleton. Girl was so upset she almost lost an ability to speak for the rest of her life, but found power in herself to live on without chocolate candies on a stick. She grew up, got married, had children and grandchildren. And one day, when she became very old, she went to a graveyard and put some black soil into a can…
Gena once went for a date with a girl with a name Caroline. And after a date, of course, he kissed her cheek and then he went to his aged mother which waited for him in a dark empty room with cold dinner. On his way he had to pass by city morgue, where human corpses were stored in fridges. It has been sometime around midnight. Infront of a morgue was a bench and Gena saw a very strange old hag in a black dress. “I wonder, what is this honorary pensioner is doing in a such place this late?” He asked this question to himself, but did not come up with an answer. But the closer he was to the bench the more scary this strange hag in a black dress seemed to him.
When Gena was passing by the hag, he felt that something is making him to turn his head and look straight to the hag’s eyes. It took him a huge effort and will not to do it. That hag did not touch him, without a word she just kept sitting on the bench mysteriously.
When Gena came back home, his aged mother told him that his hairs turned all grey. That was the last time Gena went for a date with a girl Caroline.
One girl had a black lamp, which could kill mosquitos and other unwanted insects. So at night nothing disturbed girl’s sleep and she was growing as a beautiful girl with rosy cheeks. Lamp had a switcher and one day girl asked her father what is this switcher for, but her father had no idea even though he was very smart. In the evening, while turning the lamp, girl turned this switcher. But now lamp started to kill people with its radiation. It killed a girl, her father and some more people until it’s battery died.
One girl had a wonderful garden full of various flowers and vegetables. One day in this garden she planted a beautiful black flower. She could not wait to see it bloom and she can enjoy the smell of it. But one nasty rat got a habit to sneak into garden at night and gnaw the poor plant.
Girl went to a shop and bought a deadly trap which she later installed in a garden. The very first night rat got into trap and it killed that rat. Now in the garden near the black flower laid a nasty corps of a very nasty rat and girl felt a disgust at the thought that she needed to go there. Then a girl got an idea to lure a black crow so that it take the corps. Black crow came and pressed her foot toward a rat’s dead body, picked an eye out of it and than carried the body somewhere. But then black crow came back, sat on a fence and were making scary croaking every time girl tried to go to garden to water her flowers and vegetables. Girl was afraid to come near that black crow and to scare it away. Then she went to a shop and bought a rifle with a telescopic sight, shoot a black crow and killed a scary bird. And when black flower opened it’s petals, the smell was so poisonous all people in that district died in a horrible convulsions.
Berdiansk was a pretty town by the sea where lived a grandmother of one girl in a big nine story building on a Krylova street. A girl came to visit her granny and while she were going up to the ninth floor she saw a little bone and she picked it and put in her pocket. On the first night in granny’s apartment a girl felt as if somebody or something is trying to pull out a blanket from her. Next evening girl safely tied a blanked to her shoulders. On the second night it seemed to her that something is gnawing her ears so next evening a girl put a First World War era helmet on her head.
And on a third night girl saw a dream about a man with big black moustache entering her room and a man said in a sad voice: “Lovely child, I lived in this house in an apartment next door and in one magical book I have read that if you are eaten alive by cockroaches you can become their king and live forever. So did I, I let them eat my body alive except for a little bone that you found. And now my soul is in between two worlds and can not find a peace until you give that bone back. Be so kind to return it to me!”
He held out his dead hand to her.
Girl woke up from fright, jumped up and hurried to the window through which she threw a bone away. At that time a kind old man was walking on the street. A man who was growing black cucumbers in his garden. That bone hit his head and he died.
Translator & Editor Anastassia Areng (2023)